(This piece has some satires and some realities so use your discretion to decide which one is satire and which one is real)
People are getting offended more and more easily. People from my generation need to tiptoe around everything lest we offend someone who feels he is trapped in a fish’s body or someone who prefers Patanjali instant noodles over Maggi or so on. Yet no one seems to care about our feelings. I have never faced so much discrimination in my whole life as I am facing now for my age.
When Caitlyn Jenner said she is actually a woman trapped in a man’s body everyone sympathized with her and gave her the “woman of the year” title but God forbids if one of “us” tells “they are 25 trapped in a 50 year old’s body”. We will be laughing stock of the whole world and “they” as in young people will act as if we have physically harmed them.
Everyone offends us and discriminates against us yet the champions of new age political correctness BuzzFeed or SCOOPWHOOP have never publish a story on this bigotry called “ageism”. HUMANS OF NEW YORK never does a cutesy story on our suffering.
So I have taken the matter into my hands and typing using my hands a list – 10 times we old people slay our discriminators, that is if they could read our minds
- I have this habit of making two plaits always forgetting about the time lapse in my life. So the moment “they” see me I get the comment in a mocking tone “you are looking like a college girl” or more honest “do you think you are a college girl?” If “they” could read my mind then I slay by saying in my mind “are only college girls allowed to feel comfortable?”
- Sales person in any shop: These clothes are for you.
Me: What about those ones?
Sales person: Those are for young girls.
Me (in my mind): I can rock bright colours and floral prints too, what do you know?
- A viral poster on my newsfeed: If travelling were free you would never find me
Me (in my mind): So what about the babysitter? Is she free too? If not then who wants to travel with two howling brats?
- Another travelling blog on my newsfeed: Pack lightly, you don’t need to pack that second jeans.
Me (in my mind): If the younger one decides to puke on my jeans? Then what?
- Another blog: This man has left his job to travel whole time. He is giving us new goals
Me (in my mind): So what are we doing for home management and dirty laundry and tantrum throwing?
- A book blog on my feed: When you grow up with Harry Potter then blah blah blah
Me (in my mind): And if you are already a grown up while reading Harry Potter? When are you going to publish a blog on people like us?
- Some movie reviewer: Children will love to watch Minions
Me (in my mind): Hey I love Minions more than my children. Why would you marginalize me?
- Some young person: Adulting is so tough I don’t want to grow up.
Me (in my mind): Do you think we enjoy adulting? There’s no choice we had to grow up.
- Some professor has given a list of chores any adult should be able to accomplish.
Me (in my mind): I am not going to read that list ever. What I don’t know that I don’t know is not going to hurt me. And also what adult?
- Me in salon: So how much you are charging for facial
Parlourwali: Age defying facial is Rs……
Me (in my mind): How do you know I don’t want skin brightening one or the anti-acne one? If you can’t see the tan or acne on my face then you are old I am not.
- Some random young boy: Auntie which way is to railway station?
Me (in my mind): Why would you call me auntie? You know I would never do this to you. I would never call you auntie.
Hope I have raised some awareness about our people and hope there will be reservation for us now on in government jobs. What is it? We can’t apply in government jobs because of our age?
What can I say? I rest my case.