Meanwhile in my life I am still trying to be a writer. I have been working really hard on it.
First I worked hard on being a writer by working on my look. I bought the geekiest looking glasses. Surprisingly it did not help me in turning into a successful write. It did not do anything except making me look ugly the five minutes it is not missing. The rest of 23 hours and 55 minutes go in placing the glasses. It is absolutely the truth because I look for my glasses even in my sleep.
Then I thought I would carry my infant child in pram and go to café and start writing just like the bestselling writer of our time. I felt as if the distance between me and the next Harry Potter series was a child in the pram in a café. I could not know if there is anything more in the distance because the moment I used to settle down comfortably in my chair at café my son would start crying and screaming and then howling louder than a rocket. At this moment generally I used to leave before the murderous stares from other patrons could kill me. Some days I developed thick skin and carried on those days he used to kick himself out of the pram some how. Writing in café is off agenda totally now because my son is blacklisted by all the cafes in our city. I wonder if Rowling success is entirely due to the well behaving nature of her child in the pram.
I could not be the famous writer of this century so why not try to be a writer from nineteenth century? All these generic pictures of “women thinking while writing on a neat and tidy table with some flowers” flashed into my mind. Then I decided to buy a table. But that plan was flawed from the very beginning because my toddler started grabbing everything from top of it and threw off the moment I finished arranging the flower on the table a la old pictures. And it is not only his fault, some how from diaper to my daughter’s crayons to my grocery bills everything ended up on it. Those things are not grabbed much by the way. Now there’s no place on that table for anyone to become a writer.
Without a fixed workstation my stuffs lie everywhere and when I want to start writing I spend first half hour in looking for my stuffs, especially my pen. It is like I take out a new pen and then it vanished in some black hole the moment I look away.
I keep on posting articles on my personal blog non-stop though. So world what if you don’t give me a writing job I have given myself a job!
Self promotion is the key to success from time of Plato to now. Do you think Plato was the only disciple of Socrates? And how do you think he, among all disciples, managed to get the writing or carving assignment of Socrates words? Self promotion of course!
So I have aggressively started posting links to my works everywhere in the net. Now my Facebook friends seem colder some how. Administrators Whatsapp groups have warned me for posting these preposterous links which are not Good Morning messages or Motivational posters or sensational news with 0.00001% chance of being truth or jokes about dysfunctional marriage. And to think one of the administrators is my own mother!
And as part of my personal aggressive campaign I am pushing my articles to some websites too. Most of the times I get the same reply “your writing is intimidating” and by that they never mean my writing is intimidating like writing of some Nobel winner. They only mean my articles are generally so big that it is always intimidating for the editor to read it and cut short which would be a gigantic task. Why can’t I write small pieces then? I don’t know I can’t talk much but some how I can’t stop writing.
So I will continue writing till my death. Becoming professionally successful writer is of course a different ball game.
P.S. The above story may seem like an ego trip of a self-deprecating narcissist (oxymoron huh!) but it is almost true except few exaggerations. My mother is not really admin of any Whatsapp group although she tends to cut the calls rather quickly if I mention about sending links of my pieces. And my son is not black listed by cafes; he is also blacklisted by my daughter’s school, my tailor shop, bookshop and many more places. And I have been not a total failure. I have managed to get few of my blogs published in few sites. Like 8 Times Karan Johar Managed To Come Out Without Really “Coming Out” In His Book ‘An Unsuitable Boy’ in the site akkarbakkar . A couple of pieces The Silsila syndrome: When reel life affairs are unacceptable to Indians and Marriage…part love, part compromise, but mostly a series of jokes were published at the Indian couple relationship portal Bonobonoly. Bonobology generally publishes true life stories about all aspects of love and couple relationships. If your taste in romance is little different than regular Mills and Boon then it is the place for you.